MY TOP TEN OF 2009

(The films that qualified for this list all opened in Australia in 2009, despite possibly having been released internationally either before or after that year)

1. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

Tarantino tricked mainstream cinema goers into seeing what is essentially a multi-lingual art house film, and we loved every minute of it! Many critics pronounced the boy wonder down and out after the commercial failure of Deathproof and mixed reaction to The Kill Bill franchise. Instead of churning out a safe sure fire action extravaganza,Tarantino produces what is perhaps his riskiest work to date; changing the history of the second world war, 20 + min scenes, multi-lingual dialogue, a cast comprised of mostly unknowns, Eli Roth! But Tarantino delivers on all counts making Inglourious Basterds the most interesting, original and enthralling film of 2009.

2. NOWHERE BOY

Debut feature film director Sam Taylor Wood creates the most movingly poignant portrayal of John Lennon to date, blasting through the myth, revealing the superstar at his most human. Wood's achievement lays in the fact that you forget you are watching a film about a rock legend in the making, instead focusing on the story of a complex young man torn between the women he loves. Stellar performances come from all, particularly a break out performance by Aaron Johnson who does well to avoid caricature, making Lennon his own. Add one of the best soundtracks of the year and you have an absolute must see.

3. DEFIANCE

Based on the true story of Belorussian partisan fighters the Bielski brothers, Edward Zwick crafts a tense but moving tale about the will to survive in the face of overwhelming odds. Where Defiance succeeds the most is in character development as you grow to love each of the brothers played superbly by Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber and Jamie Bell. Whilst the script could have been tighter the power of the story alone will keep you gripped to your seat from beginning to end.

4. SHERLOCK HOLMES

Guy Ritchie churns out a rollicking, fun-filled adventure flick that is by far the most superior popcorn movie of the year. Every pre-conceived notion you thought you had about Holmes mythology flies out the door (for the better i might add) as Ritchie's vision contains far more laughs, action and thrills than poor old Basil Rathbone or any other Holmes imitator could ever hope to imagine. Despite meandering a little through the second half of the film Robert Downey Jnr and Jude Law chemistry as well as Ritchie's signature film making style make this one of the most enjoyable film experiences of the year.

5. PRIDE AND GLORY

Widely criticised for being too generic, Pride and Glory still managed to pack more punch than any other thriller in the marketplace this year. The movie, which centers around corruption in the New York City police force, showcases actors Edward Norton and Colin Farrell at their finest. The script is tight and the film fast paced. A tense cat and mouse game features throughout, keeping you enthralled from go to woe. Despite featuring quite a few formulaic conventions indicative of the genre, Pride and Glory delivered much bang for your buck.

6. JULIE AND JULIA

Perhaps the film that surprised me more than any other this year was Julie and Julia. Far from playing like your typical romcom the film makes for one of the most delightfully heartwarming experiences of the year. Nora Ephron, rebounding from the disastrous Bewitched, manages to deliver a film that is sweet without being corny, delivering genuine laughs along the way. The stories of Julia Child's Parisian exploits in the 1950's and post nine eleven cubicle worker Julie Powell are interwoven seamlessly with Meryl Streep proving why when it comes to acting, she is in a class all by herself.

7. GRAN TORINO

Gran Torino is the perfect example of a movie that is not exactly film making at it's finest, but is so entertaining that you can't help but forgive it's many flaws. Ok, so it's basically Dirty Harry retired and living in supurbia, but it still makes for great viewing. Eastwood does his usual shtick as the disgruntled tough guy determined to rid his neighbourhood of a dangerous gang of youths. It's his picture, and he is the reason the film works so well despite rather lackluster performances from the supporting cast.

8. THE LOVELY BONES

This film is an example of a good film that had the potential to be so much more than the finished product. That being said, The Lovely Bones will still make for one of the most interesting film experiences of the year in that you will not forget it easily. The subject matter is tough and the film as a whole is rather haunting. It's a shame Jackson couldn't have spent less time on rather mediocre special effects and more time on character development but all in all, considering the generally run of the mill lackluster fare flooding the marketplace, the originality alone of The Lovely Bones qualifies it as a must see.

9. MAO'S LAST DANCER

The little Aussie gem that could, Mao's Last Dancer will make you long to get out your dancing shoes and pirouette around the house. The film tells the story of Chinese ballet dancer Li Cunxin and his struggle to stay in America where he can pursue the career he desires, free from Communist party dictates. Despite some of the pivotal moments in the film falling rather flat, the beautifully choreographed dance sequences as well as the inspirational tale of Cunxin itself makes Mao's Last Dancer a cracking piece of entertainment.

10. THE BOY IN THE STRIPED PYJAMAS

John Boyne's amazing novel is brought to life in a beautifully crafted film by director Mark Hermann. The film chronicles certain events of world war two as seen through the eyes of a young german child. The performances are exceptional particuarly the two young children, Asa Butterfield and Jack Scanlon, who in many ways carry the film. Other notable mentions must go to Vera Ferminga as a naive wife and Rupert Friend as a sadistic young german officer. The film is well paced and the script is heartbreakingly poignant. The main fault of the movie lays within the fact that everyone has a British accent despite the German setting, this is to often done in films today and serves to destroy much of the credibility of the picture.

SHERLOCK HOLMES REVIEW

SHERLOCK HOLMES
Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Jude Law, Mark Strong
Screenplay: Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham, Simon Kinberg
Running time: 128 min
Rating: M
****/*****

ANYTHING BUT ELEMENTARY

Fresh from the superbly crafted RocknRolla, Guy Ritchie churns out a hugely entertaining, high voltage thrill ride which is by far the most superior popcorn movie of the year.

After the capture and execution of criminal mastermind Lord Blackwood, reports surface that the evil genius has somehow risen from the grave. With Watson in tow Sherlock Holmes sets about solving a series of murders somehow related to the case whilst dealing with an old flame who has mysteriously re-entered his life.

Over the course of the film every pre-conceived notion you thought you had about Holmes mythology flies out the door (for the better i might add) as Ritchie's vision contains far more laughs, action and thrills than poor old Basil Rathbone or any other Holmes imitator could ever hope to imagine. For want of a better word Holmes and Watson kick butt, majorly. Not many directors do action better than Guy Ritchie and the sequences in the film has his unique stamp all over them.

The film gets off to a cracking good start, both fast paced and intriguing. Unfortunately it begins to meander during the middle as the increasing number of elements to the case become more and more convoluted. The film also spends more time setting up for a sequel than other movie in recent memory. The faceless villain Moriarty, who is all set to be Holmes next nemesis, nearly gets as much screen time as Lord Blackwood! Despite the poorly paced second half, the chemistry between Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law is enough to keep you watching.

Downey Jr makes the role of the infamous detective all his own whilst retaining much of what made Holmes so special in the first place; superior intellect,wit, arrogance and petulance. Physically Downey Jr is about as different as you can get from the popular yet unsubstantiated Holmes iconography that we are usually presented with in adaptions. Yet this new Holmes is so darn likable that you really wouldn't want him any other way. Jude Law is also a far cry from the image of the balding, middle aged doctor we usually associate with Watson. Law invigorates the role, playing seamlessly off Downey Jr. Their relationship is reminiscent of the great buddy films of yesteryear and is one of the highlights of the movie.

The supporting cast does not fare as well. The usually scene stealing Mark Strong is kind of a ho-hum villain. We do not spend enough time with his character or know enough about him to consider him a real threat, especially after sitting through endless acts of genius by Holmes, you never really fear that he will get the better of the wonder detective. Rachel McAdams is also miscast as Irene Adler, Holmes love interest and rival. Adams does not possess the maturity in her performance to make you feel as though she is the street savvy, criminal genius that she is made out to be.

The look of the film is fantastic. Cinematographer Philippe Rousselot does a superb job at capturing 19th century London in all it's glory; from the docks, to the gritty mean streets to even Buckingham Palace, the film is rich in colour and authenticity. Ritchie's frequent editor James Herbert is back, bringing with him the techniques that make the film look typically Ritchie esque. From the action sequences to the interweaving of past and present timelines, the editing is top shelf. To round of the high quality productions is super composer Hans Zimmer's musical score, which is one of the best of the year and adds to the overall excitement of the picture.

So if your in the mood for a rollicking, fun filled adventure flick that is anything but elementary, you won't do much better than Sherlock Holmes this holiday season. FOUR OUT OF FIVE STARS

NOWHERE BOY REVIEW

NOWHERE BOY
Director: Sam Taylor Wood
Cast: Aaron Johnson, Kristin Scott Thomas, Anne-Marie Duff
Screenplay: Matt Greenhalgh
Running Time: 100 min
Rating:M
*****/*****

THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE YOU SHOULD BE ON BOXING DAY

Visual artist Sam Taylor Wood has crafted the most entertaining and thought provoking piece of Lennon mythology to date in her debut feature film Nowhere Boy.

The movie chronicles the adolescent years of John Lennon. Having been brought up by his Aunt Mimi, John's world is turned upside when his free spirited mother Julia re-enters his life, ripping him open and pulling out his artistry as well as pain, anger and frustration.

A number of films and documentaries have tried and failed to make a definitive statement about John Lennon the human being. The reason why Nowhere Boy is so successful is because we are presented with a complex and multi faceted young man, who was a number of things to a number of people and impossible to pigeonhole.

Based on the novel by John's sister Julia Baird with the script penned by Matt Greenhalgh, Nowhere Boy possesses an enormously strong emotional undercurrent that is missing from many films of the biopic genre. The Lennon legend has risen to almost unparalleled mythical heights within our culture and Greenhalgh does a superb job at humanising the story, so much that you forget that you are watching a film about a legend in the making, but rather the story of a young boy caught between the women he loves.

The women in question are John's Aunt Mimi played by the ever brilliant Kristen Scott Thomas and his mother Julia, brought to life in a star making turn by Anne-Marie Duff. Though much of the acclaim seems to be percolating around Duff's performance, Scott Thomas deserves to be equally praised for making the incredibly complex character of Mimi relatable and sympathetic. In the wrong hands Aunt Mimi could have come across as highly unlikeable considering she can often appear distant and cold, but Scott Thomas juxtaposes these instances with such an understated kindness and warmth that we as the audience realise that Mimi is a very caring person who has the misfortune of finding it almost impossible to express sentimental feelings. On the other end of the spectrum Julia appears to be everything Mimi isn't- a free spirit who flouts convention and lives for a good time. Julia is a flirt. She flirts with life, men and even her own son. There is a rather incestuous undercurrent to her and John's relationship such as when she lays on top of him, lost in ecstasy to the tune "I Put A Spell On You". The scene is uncomfortable, as is many aspects of their relationship. In many ways she seems more like a girlfriend to John and as the movie progresses we begin to understand more and more Mimi's misgivings. In many ways Julia has never really grown up and only knows how to engage with men in this seductive manner.

John Lennon is played by relative unknown Aaron Johnson, mainly associated with his role in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging. Johnson breaks free from the shackles of his teen pin-up persona and delivers a mature and layered performance worthy of accolades. Johnson fully embodies Lennon's complexities; he is both good and bad, insecure and arrogant, sensitive and brutal, caring and careless. From Lennon's wit to his magnetism, pain, anger and sarcasm, Johnson gets it all. Considering Lennon is one of the most imitated celebrities of our time Johnson does well to avoid caricature, creating a version of Lennon at his most human. Johnson's vocal abilities also sound eerily reminiscent of a young Lennon, making him an excellent choice in more ways than one.

Taylor Wood is definitely a talent to watch as she not only elicits fine performances from her cast but also manages to capture the essence of post war Liverpool in a vivid and imaginative way. Gone are the bleak greys, squalid mean streets and endless rows of two up two down houses that usually characterises the depictions of the area. Instead we are presented with a much more colorful and vibrant depiction of Liverpool, a City just beginning to discover the charms of rock and roll. The excitement in the air is palpable.

One of the greatest attributes of Nowhere Boy is the soundtrack, crammed with classics from Elvis Presley, Screamin' Jay Hawkins, Jerry Lee Lewis and Eddie Cochran. Coupled with these original rock songs are covers sung by Aaron Johnson and Thomas Sangstar as their respective characters.

Nowhere Boy is an absolute gem of a film that will hopefully find the audience it deserves. You'll laugh, cry and kick yourself for not learning guitar in your youth. Possibly the most touching film of the year, there is nowhere else you should be on Boxing Day. FIVE STARS OUT OF FIVE

AVATAR REVIEW

AVATAR
Director: James Cameron
Cast: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver
Screenplay: James Cameron
Running Time: 162 min
Rating: M
*** 1/2/*****

BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!

Deja-vu anyone? Overblown budget, cutting edge special effects, rumors that Cameron had lost the plot, rumors that this was to be an Ishtar for the ages. Yes, history seemed to be repeating itself during the shoot for James Cameron's latest eye popping thrill ride Avatar. But instead of sinking like the ship in Cameron's now comically iconic predecessor, Avatar comes up trumps.

Sam Worthington stars as Jake Sulley, a paraplegic marine who is promised the use of his legs back in exchange for infiltrating the community of the native people of planet Pandora and gathering information to necessitate their downfall. As he grows to love his new way of life Sulley becomes conflicted between following orders and protecting his new people.

I didn't expect to like this film. In fact i expected to hate it considering Avatar combines two of my least favorite genres- science fiction and animation-coupled with a mammoth running time. But James Cameron has managed to create such a visually magnificent feast for the eyes that you would be hard pressed not to become engaged by what is playing out before you.

Cameron takes the art of motion capture CGI to new heights of excellence, producing quality of colour and dimension the likes of which has yet to be seen. The planet of Pandora is an exotic paradise, so lush with native flora and fauna that you long to jump through the screen and touch it. The animated characters are more emotive and realistic than ever before thanks to this new technology which allows every nuance of the actor's facial expressions to be captured and transferred onto the screen.

Sam Worthington does well in the lead. Whilst his performance is nothing exceptional, he makes a solid effort at holding the film together. The fact that you are always routing for Sulley despite his conflicted loyalties is a testament to Worthington's likability. However the real show stealer is Zoe Saldana, quite a feat considering her character is entirely animated. As Neytiri, Jake's Na'vi love interest Saldana's emotions are so incredibly powerful that they blast straight through the screen, enabling the audience to relate to the film on a much more basic human level. Another notable mention has to go to Sigourney Weaver, re-teaming with the man who brought her initial super stardom twenty-three years ago, she plays Dr Grace Augustine, a scientist with an innate love for the native people of Pandora. Her performance reminds us why she is one of the best actresses around for bringing strong, independent female characters to life on the big screen. Rounding out the cast is Stephen Lang as the larger than life, ultimate film villain Colonel Miles Quaritch. Lang hams it up big time, but this serves the character well.

The majority of Avatar's appeal lays within the visual aspects of the film. Cameron's script is not great. The dialogue is rather bland and the story formulaic. The nearly three hour running time is mainly for visual showcasing rather than allowing the quite simple plot to unfold. The films underlying themes of corporate greed, science and religion and the adverse affect of man on nature are hammered home in a loud and obvious way. Yet Avatar still possesses more of an emotional pull than most big budgeted action epics manage to communicate.

This film may not be for everyone, but even Cameron's greatest cynics must give the man props for his vision. If you dislike the genre the running time might get to you, but even so you'd be hard pressed not to feel like you got plenty of bang for your buck. THREE AND A HALF STARS OUT OF FIVE

AN EDUCATION REVIEW

AN EDUCATION
Director: Lone Scherfig
Cast: Carey Mulligan, Peter Sarsgaard, Alfred Molina
Screenplay: Nick Hornby
Running Time: 95 min
Rating: M
***/*****

YOU MIGHT BE A LITTLE LOST AS TO THE LESSON, BUT STILL GLAD YOU WENT TO CLASS ANYWAY

An Education is a flawed yet cracking little independent gem that makes for one of the more enjoyable and original film experiences of the year.

The film chronicles the girl to woman transformation of sixteen year old wannabe sophisticate Jenny (Mulligan). Upon meeting the much older David (Sarsgaard) Jenny is introduced to a high rolling world filled with culture and glamour far beyond her wildest dreams. Jenny must soon decide whether her new lifestyle is worth sacrificing her academic ambitions for.

Based on a memoir by Lynn Barber, An Education explores the themes of first love, social expectations and femininity in the 60's in both a smart and entertaining manner. It's sociopolitical subtext of the plight of women during the era never comes across as preachy or takes away from the more comedic aspects of the film.

Director Lone Sherfig's recreation of swinging 60's London is so vibrant and visually pleasing that, like Jenny, you can't help but be swept up in the magic of the atmosphere. Sherfig's film is well constructed and well paced, whilst managing to evoke the feeling of a film from Hollywood's golden era. Whilst the narrative is maintained effectively throughout, it's themes are slightly lost due to some poor casting choices.

While An Education attempts to chronicle the coming of age of school girl Jenny, due to the mis-casting of Carey Mulligan in the lead there is no discernible coming of age evident. It is certainly not due to lack of talent, as it is obvious that Mulligan possesses the acting chops and screen presence of someone destined to become a major star. The problem is that Mulligan portrays Jenny so sophisticated, confident, sensible and worldly wise right from the get go, that the character never seems to undergo any sort of discernible change or personal growth. The only difference between Jenny the school girl and Jenny the sophisticate is a new hairstyle and some impressive haute couture. Because Jenny oozes this maturity and wisdom from the start, it is even more inconceivable that she would be swept of her feet so easily by by David, especially considering that Jenny always comes across as far more intelligent and charismatic than him. This is partly the fault of Peter Saarsgard who is fatally miscast as David in the fact that he does not possess the charm or charisma to make you believe that Jenny would consider throwing away her academic dreams for him. The pair are severely lacking in chemistry and apart from possessing the financial means to provide Jenny with her dream lifestyle, David does not appear to be exceptional or interesting in any other way that would make him appealing to a young girl of Jenny's intellect.

The supporting cast fare much better. Alfred Molina is brilliant as Jenny's well intentioned but misguided Father, providing much of the comedic relief as well as some of the more poignant moments of the film. Cara Seymour delivers a beautifully understated performance as Jenny's mother with Emma Thompson and Olivia Williams making notable turns as the teaching faculty at Jenny's school. Also well cast is Rosamund Pike and Dominic Cooper as Davids glamorous friends. Pike plays the blond bimbo to subtle perfection whilst Cooper plays jack the lad Danny with such a fun, sleazy charm that you can't help but thinking that the movie would have fared better if Cooper reversed his role with Saarsgard.

Nick Hornby's script is fast paced and witty. The snappy dialogue contains a unique mixture of light and dark sentiments to keep An Education an intriguing tale. Whilst most scenes are well thought out, the film comes across as rather hastily thrown together towards the end. The much talked about trip to Paris consists of a two minute montage and the conclusion of the film seems rather abrupt and forced.

Costume designer Odile Dicks-Mireaux is in much need of an Academy Award nomination for providing designs reminiscent of the garments adorning Hollywood legends such as Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor. The style and sophistication of the costumes surpass any other film in recent years and deserves to be recognised.

All things considered An Education is a good film that is almost great but had the potential to be exceptional. But in a marketplace littered with shiteous romcoms, dull action offerings and torture porn, it is definately one of the more smarter choices for your movie dollar. THREE OUT OF FIVE STARS.

THE INVENTION OF LYING REVIEW

THE INVENTION OF LYING
Director: Ricky Gervais & Matthew Robinson
Cast: Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner, Rob Lowe
Screenplay: Ricky Gervais & Matthew Robinson
Running Time: 99 min
Rating: M
*/*****

IT'S A SHAME THAT GERVAIS COULDN'T INVENT SOME LAUGHS

The golden boy of comedy loses his shine with this debacle of a film, proving that he is indeed fallible.

In a world where there is no such thing as lying, down on his luck writer Mark Bellison (Gervais) discovers that he possesses the ability to do so. Bellison quickly discovers that he can utilise his new gift to change his life for the better.

Alot of Gervais's shtick revolves around making fun of the character he is playing. Whilst this may have produced comedic gold in previous outings such as The Office and Extras it plays to disastrous effect in The Invention Of Lying. Unlike previous Gervais creations, David Brent and Andy Millman, the character of Mark Bellison does not deserve the antagonistic attitudes or blatant humiliation he is constantly subjected to by friends, co-workers and even his mother. If Gervais intended the many insults afforded to nice guy Bellison to be humorous he was sadly mistaken as they just serve to leave a bad taste in your mouth. The romance in which the film centers around also feels shockingly off note as the object of Bellisons affections Anna (Garner) is terribly unlikeable. When she's not telling Bellison that he's short and fat with a stubbed nose and not attractive enough to procreate with, she's making fun of those inferior to her. In her defence she is forced to tell the truth as she sees it, but considering at one point she is contemplating entering a loveless marriage in order to produce genetically superior children, you have to question why exactly Bellison is desperate to be with her?

The concept of the movie may be original but it's fatally thin. Gervais couldn't even bother to come up with a reason as to how or why Bellison is suddenly able to lie, we are just supposed to take it for granted that he now can. There is really no plot to the film, merely a plethora of un-amusing set ups that play out like a bad episode of Saturday Night Live. Gervais and his co-writer Matthew Robinson also unsuccessfully try to make some kind of social comment about the superficiality of human nature and the contradictions of Religion that are not as clever or original as the writers obviously think they are.

Not even a stellar all star cast can elevate the enjoyment factor of this comedic dead zone. In their brief appearances Tina Fey and Jonah Hill seem to be nodding off in their roles, whilst Rob Lowe manages to make the allegedly charismatic Brad Kessler fatally uncharismatic. Meanwhile Jeffrey Tambor is wasted in a ho-hum role as Bellison's boss and leading lady Jennifer Garner fails to make her character Anna even remotely enjoyable to watch.

The only shining light in the film comes from brief cameo appearances by Edward Norton, Phillip Seymor Hoffman and Jason Bateman. It's not so much that their cameo's are particularly good, rather that they momentarily distract you from this ultra dull offering. If you are fan of Gervais you than may be able to suffer through this, if not save yourself the bother. ONE OUT OF FIVE STARS

2012 REVIEW

2012
Director: Roland Emmerich
Cast: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Screenplay: Roland Emmerich & Harald Kloser
Running Time: 158 min
Rating: M
**/*****

A DISASTER FILM IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

Roland Emmerich's latest overblown "look it's the end of the world, what we need is the most average guy you can find with a dysfunctional family to save the day" offering almost borders on satire as we are inundated with everything that is ridiculous about the disaster genre repeatedly over the course of almost three hours.

The year is 2012 (obviously) and the world as we know it is coming to an end via a succession of natural disasters. The film chronicles mankind's struggle to survive.

It's a shame that the films of Roland Emmerich have become increasingly overblown and self indulgent over the years, for he once showed great promise in being able to intertwine solid dramatic content with large action sequences in his earlier outings like The Patriot. However as 2012 and last years dreadful 10000BC show, Emmerich has forgone all ambition of producing anything of quality, instead seeming more concerned with producing the most mind numbing special effects that the ridiculously large budget of 200 million dollars could buy. It's painfully obvious where most of Emmerich's attentions lay as the multiple human narratives in 2012 fall shockingly flat.

We all expect disaster movies to be somewhat ridiculous. After all they are so formulaic that the only thing that really changes is the disaster itself. 2012 is no exception as we once again are presented a bunch of stereotypical characters attempting to survive a flurry of natural disasters whilst mending their relationships. But the problem with 2012 is not so much that it adheres to every disaster movie convention in the book, but rather that we are subjected to sit through them for almost three hours. The plot is littered with so many pointless characters, sub plots and "we're a family" pep talks that the running time is unforgivable. In between the tidal waves and earth tremors the film lags endlessly, so much so that you are actually welcoming the complete annihilation of the world so you can leave. It also appears that Emmerich wasn't sure what tone he wanted for the film. On the one hand he tries to add in a plethora of 'emotional scenes', exploring-in a bad after school special sort of way- the big issues of corporate greed, heroism, self sacrifice, redemption and science and religion. On the other hand he adds in so many cheesy one liners, cringe worthy dialogue and absurd set ups e.g a Russian Paris Hilton look a like risking her life for her chihuahua , that you can't help but think the joke may be on us.

Unfortunately the cast can't do much to elevate the enjoyment factor of the film. Let's face it, disaster films are paycheck films and in exchange for the millions paid to them the actors do their best to look serious. John Cusack (the reluctant hero), Amanda Peet (his estranged wife), and relative newcomer Chiwetel Ejiofor (the scientist) do their best to make their stock disaster movie characters look suitably worried throughout, but the relatively bad dialogue and ridiculous situations more than renders any attempt to give a worthwhile performance futile. Oliver Platt does his best to stand out as the token greedy bureaucrat whilst Woody Harrelson provides some comic relief as a drugged up conspiracy theorist. It's Thandi Newton however who receives the award for the most pointless role of the year, as the presidents daughter (much like her role in W) Newton seems to merely hover in all the major scenes contributing nothing.

Whilst the film fails on many levels the special effects department manages to deliver. Cinematographer Dean Semler manages to make tidal waves and earthquakes almost beautiful in their destructive glory.

If your in the mood for some mindless bit of fun and don't mind a sore backside then you may enjoy 2012. For everyone else perhaps wait for DVD when you can employ the use of the fast forward button on your remote control. TWO OUT OF FIVE STARS.